Grumpy.

Do you ever just wake up grumpy for no good reason? Thats me today. I am a grumpy pants. Screamed at everyone who did anything even remotely stupid on my drive into work, including driving the speed limit.

Sometimes I just think I am a miserable bitch, although anyone who knows me would argue that point into the ground. I am generally a very nice and positive person, but some days I am just grumpy and bitchy and I thank God I'm not married because he would divorce me. Ok, maybe not, but still. What does all this grumpiness make me want to do?

Eat carbs.

Lots and lots of carbs. I would love a piece of coffee cake, or a slice of lemon cake, or a baguette and some butter, or a blueberry scone! So why do we stuff ourselves when we feel shitty? Is it to make ourselves feel so miserable about the fact that our belly is protruding and we're painfully stuffed so we REALLY have something to be miserable about? I think its a distraction. Its like when someone has a toothache or a pulled muscle. I always offer to take a sledgehammer to their big toe, because the other thing won't hurt anymore. Your mind will now be focused on the broken toe and not the sore tooth or muscle.

Is that what it is? Are we just trying to distract ourselves? Or is it that thing that the mean stepfather would say to the crying kid? "Oh, I'll give you something to cry about!!" Like, I feel like shit, but lemme REALLY feel like shit by shoving 3000 calories of crap down my gullet! Because all of the sudden, the other thing that made us feel crappy seems meaningless.

Are we looking to make ourselves feel really shitty and do it right if we are going to feel shitty at all?

I dunno. Luckily there are no scones here at work, although I could do myself in with an entire box of Ritz crackers. And I DO have on stretchy pants today. But I won't. I just want to not feel grumpy. I want to be happy and cheerful and feel good about the world. For some reason, today, I just can't find it. So I'll chalk it up to just a day I need to get through in the hopes that tomorrow will be better.

I will soldier on......without the carbs. Because they aren't my friends anyway and I really don't want to feel even shittier and grumpier than I already am.

I'm gonna go pout in a corner now.

Just cuz.